"Poplars" by MonetSYNTAX
across the pond stood
a paragraph of trees
punctuated by commas
of birds resting there
just long enough
to make me pause
across the pond stood
a paragraph of trees
punctuated by commas
of birds resting there
just long enough
to make me pause
23 comments:
That is really sweet. What kind of birds? I saw crows in my mind.
I love this one. Reminds me of a poem by Billy Collins where the birds write messages on the snow with an alphabet of only two letters. Funny though how poets look at nature and see - more words. :)
I've enjoyed the wordplay. "commas of birds" in particular, which makes me think of different angles to shoot photos of a bird in flight (or in motion while perched on a branch), to get the perfect 'comma look' with a swoop of a wing. ;) Cheers.
Uniquely allegorical. Great stuff. Thanks for stopping by When I Wax recently.
Birds as commas--brilliant!!
Those are important pauses. Long enough to see, and hold, those feathery impressions.
This poem made me smile. :)
I like "a paragraph of trees". What a great image.
Catvibe - There's a multitude of crows around here at any given time, but on this particular day -it was a variety of songbirds that served as commas. Thanks!
Yuzu - I am honored that you drew comparisons between Billy Collins' poem and mine. Thank you. Yes, I guess it is strange they way we are so rooted in English usage we tend to apply it everywhere.
S.L. - So appreciated, as always. Hope you get that perfect "grammar" shot! ;)
KGT - Very nice to have you here. I appreciate your stopping by and leaving me a comment. Yes, I enjoyed perusing When I Wax. Thanks!
Sarah - Glad to have brought a smile to you. You are so right! Those pauses are important, not just to writers, but, to all of us. Thanks.
Aine - That is just what the stand of trees looked like to me. Thanks, as always!
This was so, so appropriate for the lovely writer you are! Loved it, K Lawsen.
Also, I think I've finally figured out how to post the star you gave me (cross your fingers)!
Wonderful grammar, K., in tune with the beautiful painting...
What a great image! I also imagine crows as the commas (I guess because they're black?). But I imagine how silly crows act and how LOUD they are when they're talking...maybe that could be another reason for the pause!
This poem was neat! I wish it was on a coffee mug or t-shirt!!
a paragraph of trees
punctuated by commas
of birds -- simply beautiful. elegant and thoughtful lines.
the beauty of grammar in the grammar of beauty - this should be in textbooks. love it.
Hi, K! Please excuse me for taking so long to come over and thank you for the blogging star. I've been out of town and on holiday from the internet for a bit. But thank you so very much. I am truly humbled to have been chosen by a wonderful poet and writer such as yourself. I'll put it up on my site with pride (when I figure out how...I'm a techno dummy).
And of course, I must comment on your beautiful poem. Gasp! What a gorgeous image and so very true. The pauses in life keep us sane, don't they? It makes me think of the days when I'm really stressed out because of work. When I'm on the way home, some wonderful natural event always occurs and makes my heart slow down. What a beautiful pause, just like your poem. And the paragraph of trees is brilliant! This poem refreshes my mind. I will think of it often...and smile.
Rick - Many thanks for your sweet comment. LOL- about the star. It took me awhile to figure it out, too. I never knew how to put things on the side like that. Email me if I can be of any assistance. ;D
Vesper - I looked across my pond and saw the stand of trees with many dark birds in them. I didn't have a picture, however. So, I found this one I liked. Thank you. :)
Blue Possum - Lol- about the silly crows! They do make a racket sometimes, don't they? (Especially when I don't bake them cakes!) Thanks so much for your nice comment. On a T-shirt or mug? Gee, I am blushing...what an accolade. (thanks) ;P
Billy - I am so honored to have you stop by. I admire your poetry and other writings, very much. Many thanks for the compliment on Syntax. It is one of those poems that came to me in a rush of words - thankfully so. :)
Joaquin, I just love the way you put things. And, oh, wow - what an admiring comment about this being in a textbook. From your mouth to someone's ear! Thanks, my friend. :P
Hi Julie, you are welcome for the Star. You are a talented and skilled writer, whose work I admire very much. You deserve a star and more.
Thanks a bunch for your flattering remarks about my little poem, Syntax.. Yes, I agree - seems as though when we need it most, the wonderment of nature caresses our spirit. Thanks, my friend - and welcome back!
Okay, K Lawsen, tonight or tomorrow I'm going to email you for assistance on the star thing. I actually forgot when I posted last night, but then when back and tried to figure it out and failed miserably. I have one last thing to try- I'm going to ask the 13 year old next to door to show me how to do it. Maybe if that fails, I'll ask a nine year old to figure it out.... if I can't subcontract it successfully to one of the kids, I'll be emailing you.
Your ability to capture this scene in so few words is indeed a triumph of syntax. Simple - and beautiful!
Rick - you are killin' me! I laughed right out loud when I read that you were going to get a nine year old to help you if the thirteen year old couldn't do it. Ohmygosh! I know! I was on the verge of emailing Joaquin to help me. I'm sending you an email tonight. ;P
Bless you, K Lawsen!
Karen - What a span of time and space brought you here to Old Mossy Moon! It is like a beautiful dream. We shared so much poetry and literature in the old days, actually living on it. So glad we are connecting again through that same love. Thank you so much for stopping by and commenting. I hope you will be a frequent visitor. ;D
I love this! The whole grammatical theme really works (I love the tree image).
...Funny as I also envisioned crows, I wonder why so many readers did the same?
What makes this poem really great is just flow - it just seems to be perfect in the sense of word choice, etc.
Leaves me wondering what to make of the overall comparison - the parallels between syntax and the order of living things...?
I love this poem!
It's no use even saying why. The perfection ticks like the gears of a clock.
Mininster - very astute insight and reflection...thanks so much for your input. Interesting prospect - comparing syntax to the order of living things - Like a whole new way of thinking. ;)
Jason - You always say just the right things. Honestly, this little poem is one of my favorites, because it combines my love of writing with my love of nature - literally. I always look forward to your comments and hold them in high regard. Thanks.
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