Saturday, December 27, 2008

THE LONGING

Artwork created by Merissa Garrison

THE LONGING


I was nearly asleep when the earth cast its
shadow on the winter white moon.


I could feel the past move over my shoulder
in a chill wind brought forth from the mirror.


“Enjoy Yourself!” the past rang out from a little
ancient bell that sits in a land of wings and lost poetry.


“Enjoy Yourself!” the past pleaded with me, as I slept
with the poets of antiquity biting at my heels and heart.


Once, my mother asked me to find her some moon roses
when she wasn’t feeling beautiful anymore.


“Enjoy Yourself!” That same bell had rung out to my mother
as she had graciously smiled a “company smile” at all of them.


“Enjoy Yourself!” It had pleaded with her, as she sat and watched
all the other women ask my father to dance with them.


And now that the moon has moved in beside me, and the poets
have given up the fight, I am at peace with all of this.


Anyway, I cannot think of it anymore…my mother’s New Year
spent in longing - for all those shining days along the river.

24 comments:

Catvibe said...

Wow K, this poem is incredible. And so now, you will, won't you? Be the one who dances? Yes, I think you will...

Sarah Hina said...

Those days can shine and dazzle so brilliantly that one gets lost in the glare.

I love this duality. The past as friend or foe to the present. It's all what we choose to hear...whether we fight time, or release ourselves to it. So beautifully imagined, K, as we cross yet another bridge of years.

I hear the tinkling of that New Year bell in these words. But also regret (and yes, some longing) for her mother's backward vision.

blue possum said...

What a beautiful poem! I can imagine that sweet little bell, and how "ancient" it must be!!

K.Lawson Gilbert said...

Cat - many thanks to you. Yes, I "dance" everyday and will continue to! :)



Sarah - Yes, the days go by brilliantly and before we know it, what we *think* are the best of them, are gone. But, the lesson is this - not to let one minute go by uncelebrated! Even if it is just to look at the sunlight and praise it! And of course, our family members - just look at their faces... It is all the small things that make our lives so desirous! My advice for the new year - enjoy every moment, even a sigh of ennui. ;)



Blue Possum - thanks a million. Yes, it is a sweet bell with an ancient sound. It peals and echoes many memories. Happy New Year to you, my dear one. *?*

trooping with crows said...

What a huge responsibility for a little bell, it's ringing plea to enjoy one's self.
This poem is both cold and bright, like life in the winter. I will try to move into this new year without longing or regret...a nearly impossible task, I'm afraid.
Happy New Year, Mom!

gel said...

Reading this, I yearn to be able to pluck those "moon roses" (love that phrase) from the sky to serenade and validate mom's eternal beauty.

I feel sad, as if your mom is bound by a wheelchair or some other reason not letting her dance, as she politely entreats "enjoy yourself!"

Missing those we love, accepting age, moon after moon, doesn't mean we don't still dream and long for when it was so different.

Best New Year 2009 wishes to you, K.

laughingwolf said...

happy new year :D

K.Lawson Gilbert said...

Trooping with Crows - Yes, and that little bell takes its responsibility very seriously. ;) We all have things we think about that can make us regretful...but, it is better to move on and face each new year with hope and promise. And I know that you do that! Happy New Year Blessings to you - and see you soon! <3



Gel - How sweet you are and how nice that you stopped in. Yes, acceptance - is a huge part of life, but we can also go up against some odds to entreat happiness. You are right - my mother could no longer dance. That is why it is so important to dance while we can! Blessings, dear Gel & Happy New Year.



Laughingwolf - I appreciate your stopping by OMM. Hope to see you here again. Happy New Year to you!

Karen said...

"Anyway, I cannot think of it anymore..." and yet, we do, don't we? Somehow, that little bell continues to ring the past and present, and all we can ask is to be at peace with it.

The image of your mother longing for those shining days along the river truly moves me. Memory serves.

Karen said...

Happy New Year, dear friend.

laughingwolf said...

somehow i hit 'reject' for your comment :( but was able to post it from my email :)

sorry, have to blame the amaertto in my coffee, cuz i don't drink much :O lol

K.Lawson Gilbert said...

Karen - Our past is neatly woven into our present and future - that is the way it must be. Thanks for remembering with me, my dear friend. You were such a part of that time - those shining days along the river. Blessing to you and Frank and family. I hope '09 will be good for you all.



Laughingwolf - hahaha that is fine LW. You are sweet to go to all the trouble. Yeah, that amaretto will do it everytime!!!!

jason evans said...

You have such a poetic power, Kaye. Your perspective flows so strongly with the words, it's almost like a tangible silk or warm water over my fingers.

This line was heartbreaking: Once, my mother asked me to find her some moon roses when she wasn’t feeling beautiful anymore.

Vesper said...

Incredibly beautiful, and touching, and full of a bitter-sweet longing...

Ah, those poets of antiquity biting at my heels and heart... I know them only too well...

I wish you a very Happy New Year, dear K!

xoxoxo

(Blogger has eaten my first comment. I hope this one has better luck... :-) )

K.Lawson Gilbert said...

Jason - Your kind and beautiful words are so appreciated. Because I live, or have lived my poetry, I guess the words do take on a certain viewpoint and concreteness. I always look forward to your insightful comments. ;)





Vesper - LOL! This comment made it through the waiting jaws of Blogger!

Thanks ever so much for your poetic eye. I am sure you HAVE had a few bouts with those same poets of antiquity. Sometimes, it's an out and out brawl! Thanks as always for your support of my work. All the best to you in '09, my friend! *?*

laughingwolf said...

did not want to think i hated your comment... and yeah, that italain stuff sneaks up on you :O lol

K.Lawson Gilbert said...

LW - LOL! believe me I know how things can get out of whack on these blogs....I just realized that i have a whole slew of comments that I never knew existed. I am such a pitiful neophyte when it comes to blogging!!!

joaquin carvel said...

this is beautiful...kind of one dipping and rising fluid emotion...the river itself.

(do poets ever give up the fight? maybe some do. but here's to fighting on, poet.)

;)

utopianfragments said...

beautiful, gentle like the moon.

K.Lawson Gilbert said...

Joaquin - your eloquent and complimentary remarks are much appreciated! AND...no, I guess we never really do give up the fight. ;D



Utopianfragments, Welcome to OMM. I thank you, kindly, for so lovely a comment. Please come by again, soon and often. :)

Julie said...

How beautiful this is! I especially love

"And now that the moon has moved in beside me, and the poets
have given up the fight, I am at peace with all of this."

Your words always give me reason to celebrate:) Wonderful work.

K.Lawson Gilbert said...

Hi Julie - You are always so sweet and complimentary! Thanks for appreciating my work...some of it has been in drawer for years....lol
You always make my heart leap!!!!!

Bob said...

Beautiful!

K.Lawson Gilbert said...

Bob - I appreciate your comment so much!