Thursday, September 23, 2010


Guest poet, Chloe Gilbert

Chloe rode on a train from Southern Virginia to Northern Pennsylvania, recently. One of the passengers, a kindly old gentleman sitting across the aisle, caught Chloe's imagination. She said he wore a bow tie and had the kindest face. They never spoke, but Chloe felt that he was someone special - she even felt a certain kinship toward him. Then, just as she garnered enough courage to make conversation at a stop in D.C., he stood up and departed the train.

We have all wondered about strangers that have traveled with us on trains, buses, planes....we come up with life scenarios for them. It is a poet's past time. Right?

This poem was churned from Chloe's thoughts, while traveling on the train.


I can’t help
but sneak a peak;
What spell have you
cast over me?

At a glace, to have felt so meek -
From your unintended presence,
I cannot break free.

Have you traveled far?
Could it be that you
are wondering as well,
If my story is just as spectacular
As your story in my mind dwells?

Inside, mindless masses hurry in a blunder,
As the world beside us both passes,
Creating even more magic and wonder -
Empowering my will to leap and ask.

Alas! You are now escaping this
Metal monster and leaving me behind.
Thank you sweet stranger
Whom I will never forget,
For leaving me soft and kind.


Okie Prof said...

Amazing. Encore. Thank you. Poetry must be genetic, and inspirational.
There are so many stories to be told, in poetry and prose. Help us.

trooping with crows said...

CHLOE! I didn't even know! Wow, just brilliant girl. I love the subject matter...I know I always make up entire lives of people passing through my everyday life (must get it from Oma!)
Love the truth of the second stanza...when you are captivated by someone and you can't stop staring, hoping they won't notice.
Also 4th stanza in SO well thought and written. It's like, ok, this is it, this person whom I've sat and stared and wondered at is about to depart my life forever!
Amazing work Chloe! WoW! I really love it. (Did you know his name was Eugene or is that made up? I love the title!)

joaquin carvel said...

wow. further proving artistry and introspection may be hereditary. (see also: troop) :)

yes, i think that is a poet's pastime - and this is a wonderful depiction of it. i love the contrast of "your story in my mind dwells" with "mindless masses hurry in a blunder" - and the last line is the perfect send off.

Karen said...

Chloe: I can only echo Troop and joaquin, but let me add that you have an amazingly mature (as in having been writing for a long time) syntax and poetic structure. I am especially struck by this:

Inside, mindless masses hurry in a blunder, As the
world beside us both passes,Creating even more magic and wonder -
Empowering my will to leap and ask.

Poetry can be studied and practiced but not really taught. It is like a fever, and I think perhaps with you, it was just caught.

Anonymous said...

I wish we could embrace more of those moments. I think the basic truth is that we don't care about each other. Not really. When we do, for whatever reason, it should be held onto and enjoyed.

Julie said...

Awesome! I can only repeat what everyone else has said. Okay, I’m not sucking up. I just gotta say that talent and beauty must run in your family!

This poem is beautiful. I love the voice and flow. But more than anything, I love the picture it creates. As one who has just gotten home from a trip on Amtrak, I can totally relate to the experience. Chloe captures the feeling wonderfully. It’s also great how she wonders if the man is wondering about her. Maybe another poem from his perspective? Hmmm…

The mindless masses and “metal monster” are excellent images. I love that she gives him a name. It feels right. Thanks so much for sharing. I enjoyed it very much!

K.Lawson Gilbert said...

Thanks to everyone who took the time to stop in and comment. I appreciate the way you have embraced Chloe and her work. She will be back here soon, and I know she will want to make her own comments. She is very excited that everyone had such positive things to say.

LordDilly said...

This clan is loaded with talent. Wonderful poem, Chloe!

Aniket said...

Leave it to the Gilberts when it comes to poetry! I'm sure the old man remembered Chloe too. They develop a sort of sixth sense to spot kind hearts when they see them. Whenever I think bow tie, i think Doctor Who. So I see all the more reason to find that man interesting. Like Julie, I too loved the choice of words like 'metal monster' and 'unintended presence' to show her interpretation of the situation. It takes a kind heart to see a kind face, so I am happy to 'meet' you Chloe.

P.S.: Sorry for not being around lately. Will get back soon. I'm glad I followed you here for this from FB. :)

Anonymous said...

Hello All! This is Chloe, just wanted to pop in and say thank you for all the WONDERFUL words of praise!!!

It really means a lot to be so well recieved. I had my doubts about this poem, but with Oma's encouragement I took a chance!

Now I feel more confident and am working on new poems, with everyone's compliments in mind. Thanks again for commenting so favorably! :)